I Got Your “Play Nice” Right Here
Jul 29th
by Tripsy Daisy
I grew up faster than most. I don’t mean in the street smart, head strong, Hollywood child actor kind of way. No, I mean I was 5’5” by the time I was 10. I was wearing a B-cup, size 5 pants in the 4th grade. I was HUGE compared to the other little girls. That was the problem. They were little girls and I looked like I should be in high school. That caused a number of problems, but specifically for me, on the sports fields. I played sports from the time I was old enough to kick a soccer ball, hold a t-ball bat and dribble a basket ball. The neighborhood I grew up in was small and so I played with the same girls from grade 1 through grade 8. We played soccer in the fall, basketball in the winter and softball in the spring.
Everything was an even playing field while we were all little, but then I started to grow. At first it was cool because it wasn’t that big of a difference. I was automatically 3rd base, because I was the only one who could throw all the way to 1st. I was automatically center because I always won the tip off. I was always center half back because no one would charge me and I could kick the farthest down the field. It was kinda cool being one of the better players on my teams. But I continued to grow.
By 5th grade and at 5’7”my coaches were telling me I had to tone it down.
“You don’t want to hurt the smaller girls, do you?”
“You have to remember how much bigger you are than everyone else and watch out for them.”
“You need to be careful around everyone or you’ll hurt someone.”
“If you end up hurting a smaller girl, you won’t be able to play with us anymore.”
A group of parents on one of the other soccer teams even petitioned to get me removed from the rec league because they didn’t believe I was within the age group. I had to come to the next game with my birth certificate. This changed how I played sports. This changed how I viewed sports. This changed how I viewed myself.
After that year, I never again played with the enthusiasm of a child. After that year I was hyper aware of my size, normal if I had been 15, but not for an 11 year old. I continued to play sports and even lettered in softball my freshman year in high school, but it was never as fun. Then I grew up, went to college, got a job, life, bla, bla, bla. Then I saw my first roller derby bout.
The Rat City Roller Girls in an airplane hangar in Magnuson Park, summer, hot as fuck. I vaguely remember watching old school derby on TV with my grandmother in the 70’s but never understood the rules. This was different. The clouds parted, the sun shown down, the angels sang, I had found a love for sports again. Here was a sport where I didn’t need to look out for the smaller girls. They better look out for me. Here was a sport that every body type could do. Here was a level playing field for me to try again.
I asked someone who looked like they were involved how I would go about training and trying out for roller derby. She directed me to a local rec league, called PFM (Potential Fresh Meat). I saved my money for gear and signed up the next month. I still remembered the basics of skating from when I was a kid but in addition, I learned to fall, lateral movements, how the game is played, how to work within a pack, etc. The one thing I was having trouble with, though, was my knee jerk reaction to look out for the smaller girls. My sports past was back to haunt me. At the very beginning, when a skater who was smaller than me came up behind me, I actually moved out of her way rather than try to block her. Fine if she was my jammer. Not so good if she was on the other team. At the beginning, I had to scream at that little voice inside my head that said, “Be careful of the smaller girls, you don’t want to hurt them” and tell that voice to fuck off. My instinctive reaction was to “play nice”, and as you know you can’t play derby and play nice.
Thankfully, I was smart enough to go to a derby boot camp. Not only did it push my level of fitness and agility, but I was able to share my “nice girl” issue with the other skaters. I got a lot of suggestions.
- You’ve got to take that nice girl, mothering thing and put it in a box before you come to practice. Put it in a box and leave it at the door. You can pick it up again when you leave, but you can’t have it in here. You can’t have it on the track.
- Make a list of all the times you were screwed over. Write out what happened and how it made you feel. Keep that list in your skate bag. While you’re gearing up get it out and read it. Then bring those feelings out onto the track.
- You aren’t doing anyone any favors by being nice. You aren’t learning how to hit at your best when you’re worried about other girls. And other girls aren’t learning how to take a good hit. You are robbing yourself and your sisters of being a better player when you come on to the track with fear. Get over it. Get over yourself.
- Um, whatever, grow a pair.
- You think that some random bitch on another team or another league is going to give a shit about you? You ain’t that big. You certainly ain’t that tough. You better figure out a way to get tough or get rolled over. Those are your choices.
- Ask someone to slap you. Open handed and hard. That’ll change your outlook.
- You don’t need to be everone’s friend. You are here to do a job. Do your fucking job or get off the court. Knock bitches down or go sit in the audience. It’s your choice. You can play nice and have beers after the bout. Until then. Hit, hit, hit.
- Yeah, I had that too. And then I broke a bone. I don’t have that issue any more.
- You remember that boss or that ex or that instructor who totally fucked you over? They’re all playing on the other team. Now’s your chance. Use that.
- I don’t talk to anyone before a bout. I imagine the hits. I go over drills and imagine doing them perfectly. Every girl here knows the risks of the sport. You aren’t so important that you are going to effect whether a girl gets hurt or not. You don’t have that power. Learn to play the game as well as you can. Worry about you and let them worry about them. Just play the game.
I’m not sure if many other skaters have ever had this issue. Perhaps I’m the only one, but if they have, if there is anyone else out there that’s not innately hyper aggressive, but still has a love for this sport, know that this can be over come. Eventually, you’ll have a break through. Eventually, you’ll get knocked down enough times or pissed off enough to go after someone. One day that “play nice” pill so many girls have forced down their throats will lose its potency and cease to be an obstacle.
A couple months back I got a chance to see the Derby Brats skate at the Wild West Showdown. All I can say is the day that those girls turn of age, the sport will change. I was amazed at their ability and agility. I was so impressed with their natural aggressiveness. I was jealous that I didn’t have junior roller derby as a kid. I’m sad that my coaches held me back rather than pushed me harder. Because of that experience and of seeing the area women’s flat track skaters coaching those girls, those athletes, I look forward to the day that TTRB starts our own banked track junior derby league. I want to be able to do for those girls what my coaches should have done for me; push me harder and let me succeed.
I’m glad I found roller derby and I had the guts to jump into it at 39. It’s better late than never. I’m glad I’ve overcome the crap laid on me as a kid, that I didn’t even know was a problem. I look forward to the day when I can encourage young skaters to push more and play harder. And hopefully, that determination, aggression, athleticism and power that comes with playing a sport, and specifically roller derby, will lead them successfully through their lives.
Corny? Maybe. But I live by the idea that it’s better to bring others with me on my way up, then step on their heads as I climb. Unless you’re on another team, and then I’m hitting and I hope I knock you down. More >
We Lost Our New Car Smell
Apr 9th
by Tripsy Daisy
Alignment Was Out Of Whack
We hit a bump. It had to happen. Granted it was not a big, huge, snow storm, black ice, skid into a tree, flat tire, no cell phone service, car won’t start accident, but it was a big bump and we had to get an alignment.
Our First Bout Invitation
We got invited to our first bout. That is exciting. That gives us a goal. That makes us skate that much harder in practice. It’ll give us exposure. This will show the community what we’ve been doing for the last year. This is a great opportunity. But, (screech), the bout was 6 weeks away.
Because we had such a short time frame to become bout ready, the Board and the Coaching and Practice Committee (CPC) made a few executive decisions. At the time, what little time there was, it seemed like we needed the most straight forward, direct, concise way to deal with this last minute opportunity. The board said yes to the invitation and the CPC decided that the league coach would select 20 or so of the strongest scrimmage ready skaters. Then the CPC would review and approve those selected. This group would skate together, apart from the rest of the league, during practices to prepare for the bout. Eventually 16 would be chosen from the group for the bout roster by the board and the league coach.
Us Versus Them
“Team X”, as the potential bouting team became known, started to separate from the others. For a league that has still not broken up into teams and continues to build the connection and camaraderie as a league, this separation in practice and in conversation created a “Star Bellied Sneetches” or us vs. them situation.
On one side you would hear, “We are not Team X. We are Tilted Thunder Rail Birds. We are playing on behalf of our league. We are stepping up to represent who we are and what we want to accomplish as a league.” On the other side you would hear, “We didn’t get a say. We didn’t get a vote. What happened to ‘By the skaters, for the skaters’? Why didn’t the rest of us get the opportunity to try out? Why are we being set aside?”
Although the Board and the CPC took into consideration the fact that there might be some grumblings at the selection process, they underestimated the degree of discontent that arose from a few, and spread like a virus through the rest of the league. The Board and CPC thought that although the bouting team selection process was not the best way, the rest of the league would understand that this was a one time only team, we were on a very limited time frame, and they would rally behind those chosen to represent the league. Unfortunately, feelings were hurt and noses were out of joint.
Taking TTRB To The Shop
The rumblings grew to a point that a league meeting was necessary. The Board explained why they made the decisions that they did. We discussed that even if there were try outs, there would still be 50 women who wouldn’t have made Team X. We discussed that team sports involves skill levels, sportsmanship and support. We discussed better ways to have handled the situation. We determined it wasn’t necessarily the selection vs. tryout process, but more the lack of communication between the Board and CPC and the league members during the process. We acknowledged the hurt feelings and agreed that as beneficial as saying yes to the bout was, it was not worth the fracture that was happening within the league. We acknowledged that if the time crunch wasn’t what it was, the bouting team’s creating wouldn’t have been handled in the manner in which we proceeded.
As a league, we decided that we would continue on, as we were, until the bout was over. The TTRB bouting team would continue to practice separately so as to learn to work together. The rest of the league would find ways to support and encourage their representative team. Once the bout was over “Team X” would dissolve and we would go back to our regular practices. We also decided that if another invitation to bout was offered, we would hold tryouts so everyone had a chance. If we did not have the time to hold tryouts and get a team up to speed, then we would not accept the bout invitation. We learned the importance of taking the time to make the right decision and to keep all of our skaters included.
Repairing the Alignment
From that point on, we had 99% support from the rest of the league for our TTRB bouting team. You can’t please all the people all the time. Oh, and the results from the bout? We lost. Hula Honeys-184, Tilted Thunder-89, but man was it a blast. It was our first bout and we played hard. We skated against some amazing girls who have 3 years experience on us. We had a louder presence from our fans as the away team than the home team did. We had fun. We learned a lot. And I don’t know about the rest of the team, but at the after party I got drunk and made out with one of my derby sisters and a boy with a blue mohawk. Good times. I love my league more than ever, especially with the new alignment. More >
The Honeymoon
Feb 25th
by Tripsy Daisy
My League is New
We are a banked track league without a banked track. We are a group of over 70 women who all joined this league within 6 months of each other. We have varying skating abilities and bring massive talents to our committee tables. We are a brood of strong personalities who are jockeying for dominance. Like most other derby leagues we are tattooed, dyed and strong thighed. We are aggressive, opinionated and loud. We can point out each others’ flaws but nobody else better talk shit about my derby sister. We have bonded quickly and fiercely. We have a common goal and a common drive. We skate, we plan, we scrimmage, we fund raise and occasionally we drink. Okay, more than occasionally.
Most Of Us Are On Our Best Behavior
Unlike the beginnings of a romantic relationship, though, we will burp and fart in front of each other. Class all the way. No, let us not forget this honeymoon is one comprised of 70+ women. 70 Seattle women. For those of you who are not familiar with Seattle-ites. We are known for our passive aggressive population. You’ll see our perfect smiles from across the room, but our ventriloquist skills were mastered by the age of 12. Is there another woman next to us as we smile at you so brightly? Oh, yeah, we’re talking about you.
We started recruiting last April and had over 80 skaters as of October. Half of our skaters signed up in the last orientation and I’m still matching names to faces with and without their helmets. We’ve got women who came back from retirement and have bouting experience and we’ve got women who are still learning to do an effective cross over. We’ve got one coach, one ref and all the promise in the world.
We Grew Fast
We are all so excited! Let’s get the girls, More >
Non-Members on Your Boards
Feb 23rd
Retrospect is friggin 20/20, homegirls. So! I’m offering you the first article of a series I like to call Cultivating Right woManagement. In the series I’ll share some pretty major tips you need in order to be successful in creating leadership bodies such as a Board of Directors, a Steering Committee, or an Advisory Committee.
Cultivating Right woManagement Rule #1:
Recruit Outside Community Members For Your Boards
No matter what. Seriously. It doesn’t matter what stage your team or league is in, what business structure you have, or how long you have been in existence. You must do this. Emphatic enough? No? OK, let me try again… Whether you are a Limited Liability Corporation, or Non-Profit 501c3, if your team or league has a decision-making body of any kind, it is imperative to recruit outside of your membership.
Why? Simple.
There is no substitution for all that you stand to gain, and possibly… not lose.
You gain their input, benefit from their experience, and receive a much higher level of accountability from their unbiased presence. The accountability issue is reason alone. If you haven’t heard a story of a psychotic runaway train called, Insert Name Roller Derby Board of Directors, you will soon enough. And trust me, you will live this nightmare if you don’t get smart.
Imagine being able to sit down and actually interview a slough of motivated, savvy professionals that want to help make your organization stronger without any biases or agendas. Even with the best of intentions, people can get carried away and blinded by bias. We are human. But! Remember what the road to hell is paved with.
These non-members provide opportunities to treat the process gently and respectfully, as opposed to allowing people to get all emotional and then make rash decisions based on that emotion.
Go Fishing & See What You Catch
There are hoards of women (and men!) out there that are looking for unique opportunities to give back. The fact that roller derby is super cool and edgy is just icing on the cake. Put your hook out. Maybe you’ll catch a tax attorney, a marketing executive, or a former pro athlete! Reach for the top, figure out some areas where your organization wants to target your focus, and see what happens. Even if you can’t get a big fish like these examples, you still need a good percentage of non-members on your board.
Affair To Remember
Feb 20th
The Torrid Affair
I haven’t met a skater yet who is lukewarm about derby. One thing that seems to run universal in roller girls is that we are all very enthusiastic about Derby. We are all having a passionate relationship with Derby. We are all cheating on our significant others with Derby. Hopefully they are OK with that, and for the most part, too bad if they aren’t.
Our First Fight
Just like any deep, meaningful relationship, the best and worst sides of people are going to come to the surface. I’ve known total sweethearts who become hideous screaming bitch monsters once they lace up. For the beginners out there, don’t take it to heart. I know that’s easy to say and hard to do, but seriously, from someone who has been there, it isn’t personal. For the veterans, think before you yell at some poor quivering fresh meat. She’s trying, whether you think she is or not.
Make-Up Sex
When I say “passionate relationship”, don’t always take that as Love, Love, Love. Derby pisses people off too. Everything from league politics to a bad call can trigger a shit-storm. Sometimes Derby makes you angry. Sometimes Derby makes you cry (and I’m not talking about crying over the colossal ass bruise you got in practice). Most of the time, you will forgive it because you love it so much. More >
Over 50 Can Kick Your Ass
Dec 6th
Think You Are Too Old For Roller Derby?
Pfffftt. I dare you to say that in front of The Hot Flash. If this woman isn’t one of your derby heroes, she will be.
The Hot Flash is one of my former teammates of the Rat City Rollergirls‘, Sockit Wenches, and was playing derby while she turned 50 years old! If that isn’t totally awesome enough for you, read on… Flash has recently come out retirement to skate with a new banked track league in Seattle called, Tilted Thunder Rail Birds! (BTW, banked track in Seattle? GO TILTED THUNDER!)
About The Hot Flash
Flash is 53 now and still totally kicking ass on and off the track. The Hot Flash’s new blog is going to document her experiences with the Tilted Thunder Rail Birds and she’ll share what she learns and teach what she knows. That is a beautiful thing. Flash has kinda been through the ringer since her Rat City retirement, so she is bound to be full of even more piss and vinegar and sound advice. Be sure to tune in.
On a side note, before I left Seattle I was looking for a name for my 1975 Dodge Dart that embodied the take-a-licking-keep-on-ticking mantra. I admit it’s a little odd, but I named my car after this woman! Flash was the frontwoman in a hilarious band called Donna Kay Honey & The Cowpokers and so… I named my car Donna Kay Honey. I say that like it’s a normal thing to do, but it totally fits.
photo by RJB Photo
Combat Roller Derby Gossip
Nov 23rd
Gossip is Roller Derby Poison
Back in 2007 when I was setting up policies for the Santa Cruz Rollergirls, we spent a lot of time on our SCRG Code of Conduct. Several members brought together various ideas and we ended up with a pretty good Code… Sadly, it was not good enough.
One thing that I tried to implement into the code was a message about that dreadful dirty word… Gossip. I have always believed that in any organization gossip can be blamed for the majority of dissatisfaction and unrest, distrust, and attrition (turnover rates). Not to mention gossip is without a doubt a killer of all the fun that being a part of roller derby can offer.
Why Do Girls Gossip Like Little Bitches?
Gossip is obviously a lose-lose for the person being gossiped about. So, what about the gossipers? What those toxic little brats don’t realize… they are a total douchebags and no one really trusts them. Gossipers are insecure people that are often gossiping to try to fit in or pit people against each other to elevate themselves in some way.
The thing is, gossip is really hard to fight. Not impossible, but difficult. However, eliminating gossip IS impossible if your league does not address gossip in a very specific way in your policies. Like Granny Yo used to say, “If you don’t deal with it, it’ll deal with you.” In this case, that is just a general way of saying… Have the friggin GUTS to address issues that will have a huge impact on your organization’s success if your treatment of those issues is insufficient. Grow some balls.
When we were writing our Code, my suggestion of adding a “Gossip Clause” was sort of laughed at. “You can’t control gossip.” “It’s a waste of time.” I knew they were wrong, I just didn’t know exactly how to make it stick. Bitches be trifling sometimes!
Be a Champion and Change Your Policy
In an article in last week’s Sunday New York Times, a manager explains her company’s gossip policy. The article is entitled, Workplace Gossip, Keep it to Yourself, and the idea is simple and brilliant. Each employee signs the company’s “agreement to values” form, which details the no-tolerance values and culture of the organization. The author believes it really works:
"It appears to me as if everyone has bought into the mind-set. If we ever sense that someone might be gossiping, we call that person out and say, 'You need to go to the source if you have a question.'"
Just as many of us have probably seen in your team or league, gossip promotes immeasurable negativity. Negativity does squat for your overall experience in derby, not to mention teamwork.
If I could do it all over again, I would push harder for a no tolerance-style policy in SCRG’s Code of Conduct. But, hey.. email me and I’ll gladly send you a PDF of the latest draft of the SCRG Code of Conduct. That combined with the above article can make a huge difference for your team or league.
Don’t Focus on the Stars
Oct 1st
Invest Resources in Girls that are NOT Super Stars
I have seen this all before. One of two things will always happen when someone quits or when you can’t control your turnover rate. You feel the loss immediately and panic, or the noticeable affects are felt a year or three down the road.
Does Size Matter?
Whether you are in a big league busting at the seams with six friggin teams like Toronto, a medium-sized league like Oly Rollers, or a small team that is petrified to lose their best jammer — it scarcely matters.
The big cities usually have the easiest time keeping a full roster, and by no coincidence these are the teams who are most susceptible to the dreaded sink-or-swim mentality. “Perform or we’ll find someone who will!” These leagues have the potential to create huge derby empires–in scale and popularity–with lots of sponsorship opportunities and large capacity venues.
Unfortunately, high turnover rates happen with small teams just as often and are extremely costly to any business and even more so to volunteer-based orgs. A smaller team usually means a smaller town, but not always. Large towns can have difficulty keeping members as well. Any number of missed opportunities, poor programming and just bad luck can affect membership numbers no matter how you slice it.
A league that was once on top of the rankings can easily slip if you ignore your volunteers and the girls who dream of the day when they will be on the starting line-up. You know them, these are the people that do the shit that you can’t so you can skate.
Hey, ladies… don’t let the success of today screw you up later. And if you already screwed it up, it’s not too late. Yo is here.
Some Practical Ideas That Can Prevent (or Reverse) the Problem
- Create a program that is just for non-skating members — if your volunteers are a part of things they will be around more regularly, take on more tasks and require less management.
- Allow room for aspiring skaters to skate within your league on a Fresh Meat team or a B-Team without having to pass WFTDA — see who wants in and create programs accordingly. Then regular opportunities for lower-skilled skaters to scrimmage and compete in exhibitions — don’t limit their play time because they are not “good enough”, give them real-game situations to learn from.
Ideas from an HR Standpoint
- Provide lower-skilled skaters opportunities to give public appearances and press interviews — these are the girls that are the thirstiest for the derby life, and this is the kinda stuff that keeps that much-needed spark in their eyes.
- Religiously follow a protocol for skaters who are injured — sign up your healthy members for shifts of bringing over dinner and lots of regular visits. The majority of injured skaters want to return to skating, so give the needed encouragement.
And oh yeah, did I mention Junior Derby? Who else is gonna take your spot when you are old and criple and have long since expired your derby shelf-life?
A Word About Your Culture
Take an active role to foster mentorship programs and pair up veterans and fresh meat on a regular and ongoing basis — teams are only a strong as their not-as-strong link! Impress upon your stars that is their duty to “give back” to derby because it is so easy to forget that someone gave it to them, or at least contributed to their success. Besides, if she isn’t interested in nurturing her own derby community, she is not really a star.
Yo, Roller Derby™ is a ROLLER DERBY COMMUNITY curated by flat-track roller derby veteran, Robin Hoff, aka 